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Theres only 2 ways forward from this atm:
1: Password
2: Whitelist
Anything else will leave you "exposed" as you speak about karl.
We have been running password for about 4-5 months, changed to whitelist about 1 month ago, so 5-6 months in total of running private hive and in that time we have had less hackers then you can count on 2 hands.
It is the best repellent for the scum "skiddies" we are being bombardet with.
Most of them cant be bothered to find the password or get whitelisted on a private server, just to get banned for it and reported. Its much easier to go with the "open" servers.
The thing that sucks about this is you have to have an existing community of players if you whitelist or password or else you just have a safe and empty server.
I can only talk from personal experience, but since we started putting password on we had a steady flo of people, and it didnt stop because of the whitelist.I suppose that makes sense. I may have to consider making the change.