Clinton’s Mistress | Grand opening event Wednesday 9/4

Clinton’s Mistress

Server IP

Are you looking for a new DayZ server? Do you want to be part of a community that is tired of the handholding bullshit? It’s time to quit fucking around. Clinton’s Mistress is here to give you the DayZ experience you have wet dreams about. Increased zombie spawns will have the undead crawling up your asshole. Increased loot tables ensure you’ll have what you need for a fighting chance in the apocalypse unless another player gives you the Kennedy treatment first. Base building is encouraged, and base raiding is definitely possible, though you’ll have to work for it, you rugged son of a bitch. Now I know what you’re thinking: you’re thinking other servers already have increased loot, increased zombies, and base building. You’re right, but you know what those other servers don’t have? Raskva, Silvius, and Stubbadub, you hooker! Our active admin team will run unique events on a regular basis, RP as traders, and more. Our own approach to the game guarantees that Clinton’s Mistress will give you a DayZ experience that you won’t find anywhere else. Take a chance.

Speaking of events, our first event will coincide with the “grand opening” of Clinton’s Mistress this Wednesday 9/4 at 8:30 pm eastern time. Get your big dick energy ready to enter the Arena of Death for the following contests of skill, might, and wit.

Fight numero ONE: fist fight (1v1 competition)
Stipulations: best out of three rounds
Reward: M4/AKM and two full magazines, winner’s choice

Second fight numero ONE: knife fight (1v1 competition)
Stipulation: last player standing wins
Reward: heavy plate carrier/pouches/holster in color of winner’s choosing

Thrice fight number UNO: grenade basketball (1v1 competition)
Stipulation: last player standing wins
Reward: two grenades of winner’s choosing

Fourth fight #1: Longhorn Standoff (four players at a time)
Stipulations: last player standing wins
Reward: Mosin-Nagant/hunting scope

Plead the fif fight una : Human Cattle
Stipulation: players must survive against infected horde, last player standing wins
Reward: weapon of player’s choosing

Sixth fight fuck you: free for all
Stipulation: weapons will be placed in center of the arena, last player standing wins
Reward: weapon of player’s choosing OR base building materials

And remember, just because the grand opening isn’t until Wednesday 9/4, that doesn’t mean you can’t play right now. Jump in now to start gearing up and building before shit gets real. Your new home is waiting.

See you there.
I love you